What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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