peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
