i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
