Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
