Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
