i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
