Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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