they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
