we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize