so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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