im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
