she was so not down for the gang bang
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
