I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
