you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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