Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
