forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
