She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
