Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Randomize
