why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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