Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I deserve this hangover.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
