dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
