Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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