dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
