Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
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