Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Randomize
