talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
