I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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