If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize