Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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