There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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