She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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