Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
