is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize