don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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