you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
