Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
