I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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