i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
