you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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