Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
that is very illegal...i love you.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize