Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
My brain says no but my pants say off.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
