if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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