I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
