Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
