I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
