just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
