I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
