i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
