I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
