think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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