All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
