She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
