he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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