1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
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