Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I look better un-naked...

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(216): View more from Ohio

So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab

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(704): View more from North Carolina

he looks like a really good dad on facebook

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.

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(714): View more from California

I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.

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(812): View more from Indiana

whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"

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(440): View more from Ohio

Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..

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(530): View more from California

Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories

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(407): View more from Florida

it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?

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