Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
